tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4686119363758375401.post4602512527510975516..comments2023-06-10T04:27:55.672-07:00Comments on small wonders: Judgment callPattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14561362466369763309noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4686119363758375401.post-34420868025811387972009-09-20T21:22:33.846-07:002009-09-20T21:22:33.846-07:00I've thought about this a lot since you posted...I've thought about this a lot since you posted it. This kind of thing really burns me. I think the danger most likely to befall L on that bench was that some overcautious busybody would call CPS and have her removed from your care for her own "safety". If those ladies really wanted L to be even safer than you were making her, they could linger for three minutes and help you watch out for the supposed impending dangers. I wish that every nosy rule-enforcing drive-by comment-maker were instead a real partner in taking care of our kids - trusting what we do, and adding their vigilance to strengthen our work instead of to criticize.carohttp://smallanimals.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4686119363758375401.post-89411156970343338972009-09-09T21:38:29.240-07:002009-09-09T21:38:29.240-07:00Hi...I'm a new reader here...it's always h...Hi...I'm a new reader here...it's always horrible to be chided, particularly by strangers. And particularly given you had made a thoughtful assessment of the situation. Smart old ladies would have just kept an eye on your kid discretely, if they were so worried!Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07150269101745307828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4686119363758375401.post-34597670550423979472009-09-08T22:03:58.383-07:002009-09-08T22:03:58.383-07:00Sarah makes good points. I don't think you did...Sarah makes good points. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. I've been told my kid needs a hat, mittens, or not to climb so high in a tree or on the playground. In every situation, I politely disagreed because I know my kid. My kid will gladly put his mittens and hat on, but he needs to let them get a bit cold first and decide for himself. My kids are great, capable climbers, which means they do things on the playground some other kids their age couldn't safely attempt. Your daughter is about as likely to be abducted as be hit by lightning, and you know her well enough to know she isn't just going to jump in a lake. I think there's a nasty sort of judgment of mothers out there, a sort of infantilization, like we need to be watched because we can't truly be trusted to raise kids. And we do it to each other--not long ago overheard one mom at the park complaining about another who was catching up on cell phone calls. Like she was cheating somehow, for taking her child to a place he's very happy to be and then using the time to catch up on some calls. It's insane, Patty. Your instincts are good - the world has gone a bit nuts in this department, but you don't have to listen. You didn't do anything wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4686119363758375401.post-46420769278895738342009-09-08T18:36:56.637-07:002009-09-08T18:36:56.637-07:00I think your judgment call was totally reasonable....I think your judgment call was totally reasonable. Honestly, I don't think people give mothers enough credit for having good instincts and a reasonable amount of good sense. You love your kids more than anyone--what did they think they could tell you that you did not know? You are as capable as anyone off assessing risk as they are and YOU thought it was fine, who are they to say different?<br /><br />If they were concerned, for any reason, or actually wanted to HELP, they could have hung out and kept an extra eye on her until you got back. There was no need to make you fearful or question your ability to make good choices.<br /><br />Sorry to rant, but I wish people trusted mothers more. :)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04550938120677830497noreply@blogger.com